“Genius” Past Life Probably To Blame For Shirley Maclaine’s Current Stupidity


Karmic researchers have concluded that actress Shirley Maclaine was a “genius” in a past life.  “She was probably someone really smart, like Madame Curie, or the inventor of beef jerky, or something like that,” suggested Ralph Simms, head of the Institute for Karmic Studies and Court Reporting in Platte, Nebraska. “Since karma is all about balance, that would explain a lot of the moronic stuff she’s said in her present life, like suggesting that maybe the Holocaust was payback for the Jews, or that Stephen Hawking gave himself ALS. It’s not her fault that she was reborn stupid.”

Maclaine has also expressed her belief in UFOs. “Yeah, she could be on to something there,” Simms admits. “But I hope Shirley doesn’t get abducted by aliens in this life. I mean, they might conclude that all of us here are lunkheads like her.”

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