Manning: “My dream is to play in a Super Bowl with a decent halftime show.”


DENVER — Peyton Manning announced today that he will return for the 2015-16 season, continuing his quest to appear in a Super Bowl that has a decent halftime show. “That’s always been one of my main career goals,” Manning stated, “right up there with surpassing Brett Favre’s records and starring in more commercials than Tom Brady.”

The favored Broncos were upset in last year’s divisional round by Manning’s former team, the Indianapolis Colts. “That was a bitter pill,” Manning admitted, “but when I saw that Katy Perry performance, I felt a lot better. It wasn’t like I was missing the ‘Super Bowl of halftimes,’ if ya’ll know what I mean.”

Manning recalled that, even when he won his lone title in 2007, he wasn’t completely satisfied with the halftime show. “Prince left some chords out there,” Manning said. “For me, it took a bit of shine off the Lombardi Trophy.”

A spate of injuries and Manning’s advancing age have led some critics to doubt that the veteran QB has enough left to get the Broncos to another Super Bowl halftime.  But Manning pointed to his most recent Super Bowl appearance versus the Seattle Seahawks as proof that he still has what it takes. “We basically got our asses kicked from the opening play,” Manning said. “And yet, at halftime, I made some adjustments so I could check out the Bruno Mars-Chili Peppers show. I could see the Chili Peppers weren’t always making the right reads. That’s where playoff experience counts.”

Like many Manning boosters, Denver GM John Elway spoke glowingly of his QB’s work ethic and intelligence. “He spends hours and hours reviewing tape of Super Bowl halftimes,” Elway said. “Nobody breaks down that Janet Jackson nip-slip like Peyton. Believe me, when he saw Justin Timberlake’s position, Peyton knew exactly what was coming. If it had been Peyton, he would have checked to a different dance move.”

When asked what type of Super Bowl halftime would make the perfect capper for his illustrious career, Manning shrugged. “There’s probably no chance of a Wham reunion,” he said. “Maybe the league needs to go to a completely different game plan, try something classical, or that guy ‘Christopher’, who dances with those puppets. I’ve seen him at NBA games and he’s great. Or the UT band could play ‘Rocky Top’ for 20 minutes. That’s always worked for me.”

Photo credit: Jeffrey Beall/Flickr

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