Charlotte, NC — Virginia fans who witnessed their team’s hard-fought victory over 15-seed Belmont University today were totally impressed with Belmont’s ability to come close without actually upsetting the heavily-favored Cavaliers.
“I gained a tremendous amount of respect for Belmont,” said UVA junior Sonny Biggs, “especially when they started screwing up at the end. And when we finally beat them by 12, I even felt a little choked up for Belmont.”
Other Virginia fans were quick to agree. “When the game was still close late in the second half,” UVA freshman Kaitlyn Karmody recounted, “I was thinking that the Belmont players were all really douchebaggy and that I would never probably hook up with any of them. But when they started missing some shots, I started to see how it could happen, if I had enough to drink.”
Life-long Virginia rooter Sam Crabbe was practically shaking with admiration for Belmont after the game. “Whooee!” Crabbe puffed. “That Belmont team really showed me something today. You gotta respect a team that can play you close without actually pulling off the upset. That’s why I love the first Rocky movie. You know, because he still loses.”
Long-time CBS announcer Jim Nantz also chimed in with a cliche about how much respect the Bruins had gained by almost winning. “Even the Virginia fans are applauding them,” Nantz remarked. Nantz’s colleague, the puckish Bill Raftery added, “That’s what this tourney is all about. Unless you’re a Baylor fan. I bet those people hate Georgia State’s fucking guts.”