Pope Hopes To “go un po’ pazzo” on US Trip

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Vatican City — The Holy See today released the itinerary for Pope Francis’ planned visit to the United States next September. But in a candid interview with Catholic ET, His Holiness revealed that the itinerary is just the start of his agenda.

“Of course I will carry out my official duties. But it’s already been a long year,” the Pope said, “and I am ready to take off my white shoes and dance. Il Papa is coming to America, baby, and Il Papa plans to party.”

Asked to reveal what those party plans might be, the Pontiff was coy. “Let’s just say that my friend Barack is going to hook me up with some people he knows.” Snoop? Kanye? “Those names have been mentioned,” His Holiness said.

What else was he hoping to do on his visit? “Well, at the very least, I hope to have some time to hang with Jeter. He still owes me for getting him to 3000 hits.” Asked to explain, the Pope replied, “I talked to my boss and Jeter saw a few fat pitches, that’s all. Forget about it.”

And the rumor that he might host Saturday Night Live? “It’s early yet,” His Holiness said. “But I can tell you this much: Lorne saw me do Bernie Sanders. And I killed. I killed.

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