Best Places To See Fireworks on July 4th

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1. Downtown

2. At some park, but it could be buggy. Also, the people next to you could smell funny.

3. Where there is a sign that says “Fireworks tonight.” Make sure it is not an old sign.

4. On PBS, but you might have to listen to Big Bird singing “Ol’ Man River.”

5. In a romantic comedy, when the two leads finally are having sex.

6. At a baseball stadium — but you would have to watch baseball first, so…

7. At that house in your neighborhood where the guy missing two fingers and an eye always shoots them off

8. Just above the trees, where you can only sort of see them

9. During a political discussion on TV. (These are actually more verbal than visual fireworks, although sometimes you can see sparks shooting out of Ann Coulter’s head.)

10. England. But you have to wait until November. And go to England.

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