Recently I have read some posts that question the emphasis placed on sports in American high schools. Some have even suggested that we eliminate organized sports in high schools altogether. Here are the reasons why that would be a major mistake:

• Dethronement of jocks would result in massive high school “bully void.”
• Adults would miss chance to relive “glory days” by hurling abuse at referees and teenage athletes.
• Nearly impossible for marching band to form snowman while playing “Frozen” medley at PTO meeting.
• Hard for Warren High to show school pride without “Pantherettes” performing sleazy dance routine.
• Ingesting unknown drug cocktail, requiring emergency medical attention a time-honored tradition of “Friday night lights.”
• College coaches forced to juggle funds already budgeted for illegal payments to recruits.
• Lack of pep rallies means teachers must feign interest for additional class periods.
• Students no longer sure about which other schools to hate.
• Accustomed to say, “Morning, Coach,” high school principal would need to learn real name of that guy who teaches gym.
• High school students already woefully unprepared for the rigors of college tailgating.