Pros/Cons of Carrying a Gun



  • Kid at Chipotle less likely to skimp on your guac
  • Sometimes it’s too much bother to go get the hammer
  • Plugging a bad driver way more satisfying than flipping him off
  • Black holster has slimming effect
  • Potential mass murderer/terrorist bound to blink before gunning you down


  • Every time you draw it, half the crap falls out of your purse
  • You always wish your penis was that powerful and could be displayed in restaurants and stores
  • Might shoot yourself in the ass during yoga class
  • Tiresome to keep defending your rep by killing younger gunslingers
  • Slacks constantly ruined by grease from assault rifle

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