“Is That A Drumstick in Thy Pocket…”


Ten reasons why the Pilgrims ate turkey at Thanksgiving (even though they probably didn’t):

  1. Chick-Fil-A closed for the holiday
  2. Doctors told them to cut back on red meat and cholera
  3. Excitement of “skunk burger Thursday” had quickly worn off
  4. That’s what Jesus ordered at the Last Supper
  5. Attempt to pluck porcupine left several dead
  6. It was either the turkey or that guy who still had a little meat on him
  7. Easiest game bird to club with a musket
  8. Saving the roast beef for witch trial tailgate
  9. Wanted to introduce Native Americans to salmonella
  10. Couldn’t fit the moose in the oven

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