As we all know, it is not unusual for a man’s prostate gland to increase in size as he ages. Here are some common signs that you may have an enlarged prostate:
- Your weak flow gets bullied by stronger urine streams.
- You start buying Levi’s “Relaxed Prostate” jeans.
- It counts as one of your carry-ons.
- You put your pants on “one leg, then the prostate, then the other leg at a time.”
- There’s a burning sensation when you set your prostate on a hot stove.
- Your urine dribbles. Also, you can actually dribble your prostate.
- You wonder where that third testicle came from.
- When you go to a movie, the guy behind you asks you to remove your prostate.
- Your wife leaves you. (Actually, she’s been unhappy for years. It isn’t your prostate, so much as you. Although having a gross deformity in your groin certainly didn’t make you more attractive. And she never liked you calling it “the moon of Uranus.”)
- Your work nickname is “The Elephant Gland.”
Okay, now get it checked. By a doctor. Not the office intern.