Cincinnati, OH — The 2015 NFL season is finally history, and no team is happier than the Cincinnati Bengals. With the season over, the team has moved its players into their traditional off-season habitat at the Cincinnati Zoo.
“You can see how glad they are to be back,” said zoo director Jack McSwiggin. “This morning, I spent an hour watching Domata Peko chase Vontaze Burfict around and around the rocks in the enclosure. They were having a ball!”
Tight end Tyler Eifert echoed McSwiggin’s sentiments. “After the grind of a long season, we really look forward to laying around, licking ourselves,” Eifert said. “We might even splash through the artificial pond or fight over a stick. You know, all the little things that can carry a team to the Super Bowl.”
The Bengals spend most of the day outdoors, even in bad weather, when it’s not unusual to see QB Andy Dalton and WR A.J. Green playfully tossing snowballs. But at night, the players are moved indoors to special sleeping pens, where they snuggle together for warmth.
“For fans, watching the Bengals at the zoo is much more enjoyable than watching them lose in the first round of the playoffs again,” McSwiggin stated. “During these cold winter months, many of the players are at their most active, especially the offensive linemen. We encourage everyone to stop by and see the Bengals at their best.”
Bengals GM Mike Brown announced that, due to budget cuts, the Bengals coaches are spending the off-season at a Cincinnati animal shelter, where they are available for adoption.