Reds Looking Forward To Crappy Season

votto Joey Votto, enigmatic star

“We have a great opportunity to show our young fans what it takes to be eliminated early.”

phillipsBrandon Phillips, untradeable veteran

“Usually I have to stay interested until the All-Star break. But this year the pressure’s off.”

bruceJay Bruce, disappointment

“At least there will be plenty of tickets available for my family and friends, if I can persuade them to watch this mess.”

baileyHomer Bailey, Christian Bayle stunt double

“Coasting through meaningless games means I won’t blow out my arm until August.”

cozartZack Cozart, team member

“This should be a great year for the concessions people. I mean, if you’re coming to one of our games, you’re going to want to drink heavily.”

priceBryan Price, sacrificial manager

“I don’t look at this as a lost season. I see this as a chance to get paid very well for failing miserably.  Also, I’ll have time to sit on the bench and update my resume’.”

rosePete Rose, mental

“It’s not whether you win or lose; it’s whether the league office finds out about it.”

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One thought on “Reds Looking Forward To Crappy Season

  1. Pingback: James Desperately Trying To Switch Teams Before Game 3 | toofunnyformypants

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