Foxborough, MA — Patriots QB Tom Brady and Coach Bill Belichick are still talking…but it’s all in their heads.
Sources inside the New England Patriots organization have confirmed that — in defiance of the NFL’s ban on communication — Brady and Belichick have remained in mind contact during Brady’s 4-game suspension.
Said an unnamed assistant coach, “Sometimes we’ll be in a meeting with Bill and he’ll go all quiet and get this faraway look and this slight smile — and we know that right then he’s talking with Tom in his head. Or he’s thinking about cutting somebody. That also makes him smile.”
While most of the psychic conversation centers on football, at times Belichick and Brady share funny thought memes involving NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, or simply discuss what makes a good conditioner.
Insiders report that this psychic link actually annoys Brady’s wife, supermodel Giselle Bundchen. “Sometimes we’ll be sharing an intimate moment,” Bundchen complained to a friend, “and, instead of adjusting the straps the way I like them, Tom will be ESP-chatting with Bill about the Dolphins blitz package. And, when Tom wears his helmet, it gets even worse!”
The NFL has allegedly investigated these rumors, but to date they have picked up little from Belichick’s brain except traces of rapper Chamillionaire’s 2006 hit “Ridin'”.