Some Things Squirrels Say

  • images“Dude, check out my nuts!”
  • “It’s just an attic, but with a little work, I think I could really tear it up.”
  • Where did I bury those acorns? Jesus, I’ve got to start writing stuff down.”
  • “Thanks for the bird feed, biatch!”
  • “Alvin! Hey, Alvin! Man, chipmunks hate it when you call them that.”
  • “I’m warning you—swing that broom at me and I’ll go raccoon on your trash.”
  • “I gotta stop drunk-chattering that possum. But she is fine.”
  • “Bark your brains out, fool. Until you can climb a tree, Ima chill.”
  • “Does this tail make my ass look bushy?”
  • “Car! Run forward! Back! Forward! Oh shi—”
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